You Don’t Have to know the destination

We are such a goal-setting society, and we are pressured to know what we want and where we are going next. In my younger days, I felt guilty if I wasn't where I thought I wanted to be or on the way toward what I believed was my ultimate goal.

I wanted to train and eventually run my own business offering communication seminars and workshops. I started strong, developing day-long programs and receiving good feedback and publicity. But I quickly discovered that I didn't know enough about running a business. Bookkeeping became a particular problem, and eventually I had to stop the workshops because they were costing more than they were bringing in.

For a short time, I felt like a failure.

But I didn't give up.

I still knew the direction I wanted to go. I just didn't know the exact destination—or the vehicle that would take me there.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, a successful company approached me about becoming one of their trainers. I was hired to facilitate their programs and given the opportunity to write my own. Suddenly, I was doing what I loved without the business responsibilities that had made my own venture so difficult.

It wasn't my original plan. It turned out to be better than the plan I had made.

Everything went smoothly for several years—until 2008, when the market downturn caused the corporations that had provided much of my work to shift to in-house training.

Once again, I felt lost.

Where would I go next?

I still knew the direction I wanted to go, but my destination was once again not on my map. At the same time, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and my life took a completely different turn. I became a caregiver.

Yet even on this unexpected road, I found a passion that had been waiting for me. I returned to writing and began a blog, sharing stories with others going through similar circumstances. Writing gave me a sense of purpose while I cared for the man I loved.

Then my husband died.

Once again, I had to ask myself where my next destination would be.

But I still knew my direction. I began leading support groups for others facing experiences similar to mine. I also began writing Beyond the Crossroads, bringing together the lessons I had learned along the way.

And here I am today—still traveling in the direction I want to go, but still not completely sure what the destination will be.

Maybe that's okay.

I think we have all asked, “Where will the road take me next?”

Sometimes a plan doesn't work out. Sometimes life makes the decision for us. Divorce, illness, loss, retirement, a move, or another major transition can leave us wondering what comes next.

In those moments, it is easy to see ourselves as being at a setback. We compare where we are with where we thought we would be and wonder if we've somehow gotten off course.

But perhaps we haven't gotten off course at all.

Perhaps we are simply on a side road.

We don't always know where that road will lead. We may not even have chosen to take it. But that doesn't mean it can't lead somewhere meaningful.

The question isn't always, “What is my destination?”

Sometimes the better question is:

“What direction do I want to go now?”

Maybe you don't need the whole map.

Maybe knowing the direction is enough.

If this message resonates with you, you'll find many of these ideas woven throughout my upcoming book, Beyond the Crossroads: Reclaiming Identity When Life Changes Everything, arriving this fall.

Margo

Beyond the Now  www.Margo360.com